#1 - 9 Hours, At Least.

Let me start off by saying that I did not become an old woman over night. I have, however, been a hermit since I started college in 2006. For those of you who didn't know Preston in college, (or from what I've heard, since he was in 8th grade...) Preston likes to sleep. A lot. There were nights during our early dating season that it was not uncommon for a date to be cut short (and I'm talking, 8 p.m.) because Preston needed to go to bed. Seriously? Seriously. Me, on the other hand, spent the hours between noon and 6:30 (I had a night class at 7, so I had to make time for dinner) taking naps all through college. I strategically planned my schedule so I could have at least 4 hours of optimal napping time during my day. I couldn't function without it. And thus these naps kept me up until at least 1 (maybe even 2) a.m. each night. Which made dating Preston particularly hard seeing as one of us was sleeping at almost every hour of the day. However, with marriage came compromise (and a full time job that doesn't allow me time for naps) and we settled on getting our full 9 hours of sleep at night, rather than the middle of the day.

Needless to say, Preston & I cannot function without at least 9 hours of sleep. At least. 10 is better, 12 is great, but we settle for 9 because we have to make time for at least an hour of 'The Office' before bedtime. Most of our family finds this humorous. "Sarah, isn't it time for your nap?" "Preston, it's past 9 o'clock, why are you still up?!" We have missed appointments, ditched our families, and opted out of shopping on a beautiful Saturday afternoon on numerous occasions because we are too tired to function. But Preston & I have decided that we ridiculed, pestered, and demeaned all because of one thing: we get sleep, and they do not.

And why do we get sleep and they do not? 3 words: screaming little monsters. We have come to the conclusion that the #1 spot on our list must go to our most prized possession because so few people in this world are privileged enough to get it. I have seen 2 a.m., and it isn't as pretty as people make it out to be. And I'm sure it's not any prettier while you are changing a diaper, listening to your child scream, or washing bottles because all of yours are dirty. And so, Preston and I have decided that our selfishness and deep need for at least 9 hours of sleep is far too overbearing to compromise, especially when the average number of hours slept by a new parent (or an experienced one of 18 years) is -2.

So for now, Preston and I will go on loving and living our life, 9 hours of sleep and all.

The List-An Introduction

There are certain things that come along with being married. New jobs, new locations, family, in-laws, and probably some other things that I've tried to forget, but probably the most notable of these things is the expectation of children.

As of the date of this entry, my wife and I have been married for almost 2 1/2 years. I cannot tell you the number of times my wife and I have been approached about the "life giving miracle" of child rearing. We had decided on very early on in our marriage that children were not anywhere in our near future, but try to explain that to parents and grandparents who are dying to get their hands on a grandchild.

In my wife's family, she is the oldest of three children. Add to this that her mother is an only child, and her mother's mother resides in the same house as her mom. Needless to say, the expectation is for my wife, Sarah, to be the first between her and her sister to "give this family a grandchild." I wish I could describe my wife's face when we hear this declaration from our family. The only way to describe it is to say "Not only 'no,' but '_fill in your own word__ no.'"

My family is a little different. There are six kids in my family and my brother and his wife, along with my step-sister have taken the burden off of me and my wife to have kids. (For which I am truly grateful) There are babies all over the place in my family, so luckily there is no pressure there. At least none that we can note at this time.

This expectation only gets worse when our high school and college friends are "going for the end zone on 1st down from their own 20 after the opening kick" and we scream from the sidelines to call an audible! "There's a whole for quarters left to go for the win! Run the ball!"

Everyone keeps saying "You say you don't want kids right now, but eventually you'll change your mind."........First off, sure, I'll take your word for it. We might just decide to change our mind somewhere down the road. And secondly, I think we will decide when that will happen.

But until then, we've starting compiling a list. This list began it's compilation early on in our marriage and has continued to grow to a point where now we must share it with the world. A blog seemed like a good place to distill this information and to offer hope and laughter to both sides of the camp. The premise is simple: List the reasons why we don't want to have kids. I would let you into my head and tell you a few of the items, but that would ruin the fun for the rest of the blog. So, I hope you enjoy this as much as I will. And one day I hope to find a publisher. I'm being facetious, but seriously...that would be awesome.